Friendship vs Fellowship

the unique and wonderful aspect of fellowship that seperates it from common friendship: giving to others for their growth in Christ and receiving from them for our own growth in Christ. this is what makes fellowship unique.

we are not simply giving human friendship and companionship to others, encouraging them in their life pursuits and holding them up in life's pains; we are actively involved in helping them to grow in their spiritual lives with Christ and His church. the focus of our fellowship is on christ and his church, not merely our shared interests.

friendship is based on common likes and dislikes; fellowship is based on a common identity:
what we have in common is a faith in Jesus Christ so strong and abiding that personal differences are laid aside. it is not important that everyone is like us, because the glue that holds us together is not personal preferences but a common spiritual identity.

friendship can be very selective; fellowship reaches out to those not like us:
"My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons. For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment; And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool: Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts? ... If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, THOU SHALT LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR AS THYSELF, ye do well: But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors." (james 2:1-4, 8-9 )
fellowship takes friendship into a different realm; it reaches out to those who are not like us.
also see (acts 10-11), when God opened the church to the gentiles.

friendship can be temporary, fellowship is permanent:
the relationship we enter into with Christ and with His church is a permanent, eternal one. true christian fellowship cannot end, any more than you can one day stop being your parents' children.

friendship is optional, fellowship is not:
some christians will definitely get on your nerves. they will be immature, selfish, judgemental, and have a variety of other characteristics that are less than desirable. yet these same people can be capable of great good and effective ministry at times. in any case, we dont have the option of just writing them off. fellowship is not optional.

we choose out friends; god chooses our fellowship:
fellowship is not just a way to avoid loneliness in the church; it has a purpose. we are members of one body, each of us having a seperate and important purpose within the church. fellowship is the means by which God will strengthen out lives, mature us, challenge us to greater growth and development, and use us to do the same in other's lives. he often brings people into our lives to impact us in ways we never imagined - or wanted. God uses people to mopld and shape our lives, strengthening our weaknesses, and challenging us to higher living for Christ. ironically, few of these people would have been natural choices as friends. some of these relationships are difficult and trying, but we have to learn not to try to escape them. there is usually some important lesson or truth that we will learn in them. each christian has something unique and special to offer us. God alone knows what each church and each person in his church needs, and He provides it for us. He does that through the mirable known as fellowship.

friendship places us in a unique relationship with a person; fellowship places us in a unique relationship with a family:
it is tempting for many to bail out of fellowship at the church when it becomes less than pleasant, feeling that they can find the relationships the need or want outside of church just as easily as inside. the truth is that you cant. fellowship was meant to fill a very real and spiritual need that God knew we had; it wasnt just offered as an optional extra to our christian faith. there is indeed a wide gulf between fellowship and friendship, and though both are necessary, they are not interchangeable.

ripped this from a book. oh ok, i'll acknowledge the author so i wont get sued or anything. the book is called faking church, by dan schaeffer. i ripped the whole thing ok, i admit. dont sue me please. and yeah, i like KJV.

lindyhan.