jiayou shufeng!

hahaha...
shufeng, you know ur entry is so familar?
it almost seems like a drama script i memorized all these while!

well shufeng, you know tt this was how i felt last yr? honestly, i tell you and i tell the ppl whos reading, i used to "hate" hcc for its "strictness". realli. its such a pain. everything u identified basically la. (and ya, mayb coz we are both in the "industry" where we tend to expect more) - but that is not neccessarily bad. its gd. we need such ppl to push the threshold.

it was so bad last yr tt i contemplated to go over to city harvest, since the "grass is greener there". seriously. they haf all the facilities, the expertise and all the wonderful gadgety i love. workin on the mission conventions, youth rallies, xmas musical din help. i fought, argued, debated, cried, bargained wif the heads. coz they dunno how its to b done, yet they expect so much, and give so many limitations. (not tt im complaining ok!) i know how it feels. seriously. and i had this strong urge to give up, to walk away, to leave church. (tts 1/2 the reason y u guys saw me "dying" last yr.)

but u see...i really thank God for last yr, coz i realli learnt alot. ALOT. and one thing ive learnt is not to fix my eyes on man and on things but on HIM. it is HIS church. HIS ministry. not mine. not how I want to see it become, not how I want it to be, but how HE wants it to be. true, no church is perfect. really. and mayb hcc is worser than other more "perfect" church. but i strongly believe tt God places us here for A PURPOSE. ya see, i could easily b at city harvest playing with the lights, handling the cameras, even playing in their "orchestra". but God place me here at hcc for a reason. God doesnt gives us things that we can already do. then there will b no kick. i prolly get bored after some time playing with the lights, the camera or playing in the band. God gives us things that He know that we will have difficulties in, so we can place our trust in Him. so we can mature and grow, so we can achieve something great for Him!

imagine how great it is, if you part of the "revamping" team in church to birth forth that vibrant creative minsitry? ur that team that spearhead new frontiers for the church. ur the newly appointed conductor for the hcc's orchestra? or that music director for the newly formed hcc's choir? imagine wat joy when you have achieved it. not for urself, not for ur own achievement, but for the glory of GOD! won't it be such a great feeling?

you know to me, last yr xmas musical wasnt great at all? but when i hear so many ppl tell me "hey derrick, thanks for believing. today, in church history, we can have a musical, becoz u believed." now, im not sayin its my achievement. its my glory. its definitely God's. i merely, beleived in it and obeyed. its realli a great feeling to hear ppl say tt.

and i tell ya, tt doesnt stop me from dreaming even more. u know at the planetshakers concert, i started dreaming again. i dreamt tt one day hcc will stage its rally there. one day hcc band will play there. one day ill b there leading worship. one day ill be there evangelising. impossible? radical? merely dreaming? i dun think so. you want more of my dreams? theres more. i see hcc having a multi-camera projection in our new buidling. i see hcc broadcasting our services online. i see hcc having its own tv show. i see our own cd being released. played worldwide. i see hcc touring round the world, evangelising and spreading God's love. crazy? madness? nonsensical? i dun think so.

and i thank God that we are down below, and that actually gives me the chance to bring it higher. if we are already high up there, how can we bring it even greater? we can. but the impact and its extent wun b that great.

however, wif me sayin tt, im not sayin tt we shld b contended where we are, and not progress on. ur right. we shld desire to excel. and honestly, wat u said is true during worship. i feel it too when the keyboardist screws up the fills, the back up singers go lost with the coordination and the PA team running around trying to rectify the situation. it does irks me. it realli does. but i wanna u know tt they are trying ways to improve. alan is really looking into the restructuring. the reshuffling. and i wanna encourage you to really b part of the creative minsitry to b part of this "revamping" coz we need ppl in such expertise.

i feel strongly for wat u say, coz i myself do feel it too. and ive spoken to alan abt it and is still speaking. i wanna encourage u to speak to him. he realli welcomes such feedback. im also very encouraged by your honesty. dun stop. i think one thing tt stop us frm growing is this "face" thing. how ppl will look at us or think of us if we say some things different frm the norms. but u took the courage. u dared to stand out and up. and im realli encouraged by it. //dare.