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its been some time.
3 months has juz gone by.
how have i been living my life this 3 months?
what have i been doing in this 3 months?

think the last 2 wks was quite bad. i was very tired in every area. physically, spiritually, mentally and pschologically. my walk was dry and there werent any great expectations n hunger for His holy spirit.

then came baptism and the synerg!z conference/concert. wah, i really par-teed like nvr b4 man! hahaha, what a term to use. seriously, i jumped, yelled, sang and danced like nvr b4. i jumped till my leg hurts! even now. but more imptly, i was able to dream again tt nite. d dreams i had, the visions God has placed in me and the calling i hear came alive once again. i saw our youth ministry staging our youth rally there - right under d marquee. i saw myself standing on tt stage with the whole place filled leading worship and evangelising. sam, the lead singer/preacher said this "dun let anything stop you from realizing ur dream for our Lord Jesus". - "Our God, He's so BIG, He's so mighty...there's nothing my God cannot do!" tt realli spoke volumes to me.

sometimes i feel like a fool. an idiot. when im around my friends, i realized im not as "savvy" as them. i realized im not as "in" as them. i honestly dunno whats on the top charts in the mtv world, whats the latest pop song, the hottest pub in town, which djs spinning what tunes at where...etc. and sometimes i feel out. i realli do. i feel like an idiot sometimes. hello derrick? welcome to earth! where have you been? i dun even dare call myself a media student. sometimes the world and its pleasures are so lucrative. even more than God's. yes, i got to admit it. and yes, i got to admit too that sometimes i wished tt i rather b in the world than walking this small and narrow path.

the pleasures and the riches of the world VS the small and narrow path. which one sounds more attractive? of coz the world - but i only look into the eternity. and it all become clearer. it all become more understandable. things in the world DON'T last. they don't. but Jesus does. and i rather invest my life in something that will last. i wanna live my LIFE - Living Intentionally For Eternity.

Everything's Changed.
You ask me why, why I'm so different?
Why I'm not the same as everybody else?
Well something changed, it just happened.
When I opened my heart and let Him in.

Jesus came in, He came into my life.
And I know I never felt so good.

Coz everything's changed, everything is different.
Everything's changed, everything is different.
Everything's changed, everything is different.
Everything's changed, everything is different.

You ask me how, how I can be sure?
How I know its not just something else for fun?
Coz He's so real, so real in my life,
He picked me up and turned my universe around.

YOU ARE ALL THAT I WANT.

and once i look into the eternity, i know these sacrifices are worth while. time to pick myself up again and continue running. ive not lost the vision yet. and i will not loss it. i love You Lord - and tho my world may fall, i will never let You go!

jiayou shufeng!

hahaha...
shufeng, you know ur entry is so familar?
it almost seems like a drama script i memorized all these while!

well shufeng, you know tt this was how i felt last yr? honestly, i tell you and i tell the ppl whos reading, i used to "hate" hcc for its "strictness". realli. its such a pain. everything u identified basically la. (and ya, mayb coz we are both in the "industry" where we tend to expect more) - but that is not neccessarily bad. its gd. we need such ppl to push the threshold.

it was so bad last yr tt i contemplated to go over to city harvest, since the "grass is greener there". seriously. they haf all the facilities, the expertise and all the wonderful gadgety i love. workin on the mission conventions, youth rallies, xmas musical din help. i fought, argued, debated, cried, bargained wif the heads. coz they dunno how its to b done, yet they expect so much, and give so many limitations. (not tt im complaining ok!) i know how it feels. seriously. and i had this strong urge to give up, to walk away, to leave church. (tts 1/2 the reason y u guys saw me "dying" last yr.)

but u see...i really thank God for last yr, coz i realli learnt alot. ALOT. and one thing ive learnt is not to fix my eyes on man and on things but on HIM. it is HIS church. HIS ministry. not mine. not how I want to see it become, not how I want it to be, but how HE wants it to be. true, no church is perfect. really. and mayb hcc is worser than other more "perfect" church. but i strongly believe tt God places us here for A PURPOSE. ya see, i could easily b at city harvest playing with the lights, handling the cameras, even playing in their "orchestra". but God place me here at hcc for a reason. God doesnt gives us things that we can already do. then there will b no kick. i prolly get bored after some time playing with the lights, the camera or playing in the band. God gives us things that He know that we will have difficulties in, so we can place our trust in Him. so we can mature and grow, so we can achieve something great for Him!

imagine how great it is, if you part of the "revamping" team in church to birth forth that vibrant creative minsitry? ur that team that spearhead new frontiers for the church. ur the newly appointed conductor for the hcc's orchestra? or that music director for the newly formed hcc's choir? imagine wat joy when you have achieved it. not for urself, not for ur own achievement, but for the glory of GOD! won't it be such a great feeling?

you know to me, last yr xmas musical wasnt great at all? but when i hear so many ppl tell me "hey derrick, thanks for believing. today, in church history, we can have a musical, becoz u believed." now, im not sayin its my achievement. its my glory. its definitely God's. i merely, beleived in it and obeyed. its realli a great feeling to hear ppl say tt.

and i tell ya, tt doesnt stop me from dreaming even more. u know at the planetshakers concert, i started dreaming again. i dreamt tt one day hcc will stage its rally there. one day hcc band will play there. one day ill b there leading worship. one day ill be there evangelising. impossible? radical? merely dreaming? i dun think so. you want more of my dreams? theres more. i see hcc having a multi-camera projection in our new buidling. i see hcc broadcasting our services online. i see hcc having its own tv show. i see our own cd being released. played worldwide. i see hcc touring round the world, evangelising and spreading God's love. crazy? madness? nonsensical? i dun think so.

and i thank God that we are down below, and that actually gives me the chance to bring it higher. if we are already high up there, how can we bring it even greater? we can. but the impact and its extent wun b that great.

however, wif me sayin tt, im not sayin tt we shld b contended where we are, and not progress on. ur right. we shld desire to excel. and honestly, wat u said is true during worship. i feel it too when the keyboardist screws up the fills, the back up singers go lost with the coordination and the PA team running around trying to rectify the situation. it does irks me. it realli does. but i wanna u know tt they are trying ways to improve. alan is really looking into the restructuring. the reshuffling. and i wanna encourage you to really b part of the creative minsitry to b part of this "revamping" coz we need ppl in such expertise.

i feel strongly for wat u say, coz i myself do feel it too. and ive spoken to alan abt it and is still speaking. i wanna encourage u to speak to him. he realli welcomes such feedback. im also very encouraged by your honesty. dun stop. i think one thing tt stop us frm growing is this "face" thing. how ppl will look at us or think of us if we say some things different frm the norms. but u took the courage. u dared to stand out and up. and im realli encouraged by it. //dare.

lost//

LOST
My heart cries out;
I'm lost.
Inside me there's a turmoil that is stirring,
a volcano waiting to erupt.
This feeling inside of me,
I can't explain.

At the crossroads;
I'm lost.
Where there are so many paths in front of me,
the criss-crossing patterns.
The confusion spins inside of me,
I don't know which to take.

My only Comfort,
When I'm alone.
Lord, I need You,
Show me the way.
I need Your strength; to carry on.

I see a pattern;
why is it when trials come,
I'll run away and hide?
I'll choose to turn away from You?

Lord, teach me.



ppl...plz pray 4 me ye? recently im very tired. physically, mentally and spiritually. there are so many things to do. not that they are all a piece of cake, or life's a bed of roses. life is tt ironical isnt it? you start off full of zeal and jest to challenge ur obstacle. then as time goes by, tt zeal and jest reduces to 1/2. and slowly, you juz loss them all. i see a pattern in me. i start off tt way, and then when things come my way, i run. i dunno how to react. i get discouraged and d devil start planting thots inside me. why bother to give ur life to Jesus? why choose to walk the narrow path? why sacrifice for Him? and then, the other side of my rational mind starts to work. afterall, im not even paid to do the job. afterall, life is more to this. afterall, i could go enjoy the "high life". afterall, the grass is greener in the world.

oh Lord. help me. i refuse in Jesus' name. devil get out of me. i refuse to conform to the world. Lord help me. help me to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. bcoz im God's precious child of God. He bought me for a price. and it is a high status to be called a son of a KING!

i'm d CHOSEN GENERATION, d ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, d HOLY NATION, God's own SPECIAL PEOPLE. that's enough reasons for me to b a living sacrifice for God. that's enough reasons devil. now, get out of me. for i have God with me.

cell grp dinner//mz's bdae

alrighty...so the inaugural cell grp dinner is here! b4 i forget, [shoutout] HAPPY BDAE MZ! hahaha..finally...the BIG 2 is here! its great being 20. ur 1 yr more to b an adult and ur 1 yr less to b a teen. so tts quite cool. best of both worlds - buy 1 get 1 free=).

anyway, felicia and andre joined us for the dinner. hope u guys enjoyed it. well, me, for one enjoyed it. having to rush to cold storage to buy all the food wif tia (thnx shufeng). it was fun. seriously, its been long since i ever stepped into a supermart. tts how bad my schedules are. boo.

so...we had worship first. today's theme's hip hop! all of our members were required to rap. i taught em a new song "Everything's Alright" by city harvest (issit? dunno heard it frm em). and of coz, mz got excited as usual and started grooving. (or is it shaking?)

then dinner commenced. we had a feast! garlic bread, chicken clam chowder, sotong ball and pasta. not forgetting d lemon cordial. talked. crapped. snap snap pics. eat more. talked more. shared more. shared abt our salvation story. crapped even more. snapped more. really spent quality time together eh.


wat a spread...~ 


tia-mz-moi-faith 


then we prayed for andre and felicia's interview on sat.

and mz thot it was over.
she was so sad.
did i mention how thick skin she was? the moment she came in the door, she went "where's my cake, card and present?" tia and me stared at her. super THICK SKIN LAH! and well...think we hid the cake real well? so anyway, we sang happy bdae and cut the cake and presented the card and book to her. AND we had a song presentation too! tia led us wif "You are my all in all".


i like this shot...seems like the cake's on fire=) 


arrr..this' betta! 

all in all, the evening was sweet. i enjoyed it. and i guess all of us enjoyed it too. *we gotta do tis more often eh?* ^hint^hint^


HCC-W2: tia, felicia, mz, shufeng, faith, andre and moi~! (with terence, jeremy & zihao) 

alright.
HAPPY BDAE MZ!

hello world~!

im finally back!
do you know tt i feel so uncomfortable not having the sat ex drive in me and sun morn service refreshment? it feels WIERD!!! and i dun wanna miss them ever again! screw sch! arrrrgh. sch really sux. BIG TIME. its dreadful. going to sch is a waste of time, especially towards the end of the semester where its proj/consulation period, coz u simply do nothing. juz to fulfil attendance. and talking abt attendance. its a total waste of time. now i regret ponning in the beginning of the sem. ive used off all my "leave" i cant pon anymore! and apart frm all those dreadful stuff, theres still my ministry stuff. God, expand my territory and capacity!!!

and yes. i blacker. i spent the whole of sat at west coast park filming and sun at pasir ris beach filming! how cool is that? im super burnt and my face is peeling!!! my neck is super pain due to the burnt. ARRRGH. but well, one thing to b happy tho, i killed 2 birds with one stone. i got my long awaited tan afterall. now i dun need to go down to tan...tho its fun. thats how busy i am!!! arrrrrrrr. sch's dreadful.

i owe so many ppl their meet ups. esp jfoo sr. b4 he goes in to slim down in the army tis fri. tt'll b tmr nite i guess. then theres my tu dis - jimmy and andre to journey with and evangelism wif travis and follow ups with so n so...ARRRRGH. God i need ur strength. sometimes i feel like quitting sch and jump into full time. but i know God place me there for a reason and studying is my full time ministry for now. jiayou derrick!!!

cell's tonite. we having cell grp dinner. pasta again. coz its mz fav and we celebrating her bdae. tts one thing to look forward to admist the long sch day today. one thing to make me happy tho is now my mondays are off since IS days have been officially over. and its only 2 more wks to sch end. so...tts one big thing to look forward to. meanwhile, its still sloggin. boo.

jeremy's back tho!!! *welcome*welcome*
yeshyesh. i load up the pics of cell grp retreat in due time.
and yeshyesh. ill complete the cell directory in due time.
see wat i mean? so many stuffs to do! arrrrgh.

A love that goes beyond self..

yaz, just want to share some stuff that really woke me up.. I guess i have shared with you guys with regards to Lional's tock fren blenheim, ya jess and me been visitng him for the past two day,.. First day both of us were really a scary one cause jess n I had to do the " world's scarest thing" DoNAte Blood.. hee but neverthielss we did it.. we talked to Blenheim and even prayed for him. we saw tears rolling from his cheeks when we were praying.. I believe God is working wonders through his life.. thoughout this whole thing, i've personally witness how important a fren can be. First time i've seen lional so serious and upset and first time i've seen someone so fervent and going all to out just to help n support a fren. It really goes beyond a human kind of Love..
Lional, if you are reading this blog, i want to salute you for your love for this fren.. really...you really goes beyond more than wat i could imagine.. you've been there for hiim . ya all i can do is to pray , doante blood and to visit him.. ya.. i've learnt 1 thing in life: Many things can come along our way and many things seems so important but there are only a few that really matters.. the value of reputaion and positon is really nothing comapred to the Verd " Love " and your chrieshed ones around you.. i've leanrt to love them more.. This past 2 nits, i 've really tell myslef and God that help me to love n reflect your love..Lastly: cont to pray for Blenhiem.. He needs our prayer.... MiNGZHU